My comic on people pleasing has been published in the online magazine The Rumpus!
What is people pleasing? Very briefly, it’s the tendency to conform rather than risk conflict and to put the wellbeing of others before our own (or at least what we think is the wellbeing of others – we can’t usually read minds). Depending on the identities and experiences we move through life with, people pleasing can be an important protective mechanism and survival strategy.
However, we often suffer from the effects ourselves when people-pleasing becomes automatic and we don’t let people see and feel who we are – but are busy trying to control other people’s thoughts.
In the comic, I describe some of the imprints and experiences that have led to my tendency to adapt my behaviour to the needs and expectations of other people. For some time now, I have been actively unlearning this tendency, partly because my energy and attention are limited and I want to make a conscious decision about where I direct them.
And because I have realised in many conversations that this topic concerns many people in different ways, I have created this comic.
I hope you enjoy reading it!
